The Feel Good Way

I am allowed to pick Him up. A moment that I have been looking forward to for the last few days. I asked his mom if I could and she said yes, had she said no, I probably would have begged her on my 2 bare knees. That’s how much I want it.

I skip my favorite Saturday morning activities : going to the gym, going for a ride on my road bike, washing my car… Today, after my morning coffee, I get into my still dirty car and I drive off to my destination -his other grandmother- to pick Him up.

Him, my grandson.

The idea of holding Him in my arms just fills me up with love. I overflow with joy.

Yes, I have become member of The Club. The Club that no-one wants to be a member of, because it is associated with being old and ‘in the final stage’ of your life. Club members are often avoided by non-members because they always boast on how grand their grandkids are (most often they aren’t exaggerating, grandkids are the best). It is a unique club, that you only appreciate once you have become a member.

(Un)fortunately becoming a member is totally out of your hands, the only thing you must have done is having given birth to a child, many years ago. It is then totally up to your child and his or her partner whether they will honor you with a membership by procreation.

I am lucky. Yes I am.

I am on cloud 9. All the time. I am constantly overwhelmed with love and longing to see him. When I give Him back to his parents I just can’t wait until I am asked to babysit again. Even if work is piled up all around me and I intend to finish it all before I put my full attention on him ; when he is around I drop everything and he becomes my sun.

Having kids is one thing, but grandkids is just another level. Is it because we are more mature? Because our only task and purpose is to make them happy and we leave the hard parts to the parents? Is it because we can make more time then we could when we were young? Or because we can give them back to their parents when we want and don’t have to exhaust ourselves with long sleepless nights? Or is it all of those reasons together?

So I drive to the other grandmother to pick Him up. I will be having a couple of hours alone with Him before handing Him over to his parents. I am all excited. He starts laughing as soon as our eyes meet (the things I would do for that smile!). I pick him up, he still laughs. He has put on weight, his cheeks have become chubby. Today he looks like his dad, but that might change in e sec. I hug him, his soft cheek against mine feels devine. I put my arms around him. I overflow with joy. I put him in his carseat. He laughs and chats. Just some noises of course -a 4 month old still has a lot to learn. I talk back. We have an imaginary conversation about what a great time he had with his other grandmother, to name just one topic.

Then we hit the highway and bam! He falls asleep. Just like that!

Damn!

I laugh. I imagine my whole morning with him going off in smoke. Him sleeping until I hand them over to his parents. Our few smiles and a 2 minute conversation being all I get. I find it hilarious. I touch his hand and in his sleep, he grips my finger. I still laugh, but I am confident, this morning will turn out to be perfect.

Being a Grannie is just Grand!