The importance of being alone

I am alone.

Not the everyone-is-at-work-and-will-be-back-for-lunch kind of alone, but the I-am-alone-at-the-other-side-of-the-planet type of alone.

Ok, it is not as bad or sad as it may sound. I do have some really good friends here, the type I can call whenever I need them, even on a Sunday or in the middle of the night. And it is not just ‘the other side of the planet’ either: it is my adopted 2nd home.

But still, I am alone.

Why on earth would I chose that?

We have this thing, this feeling that being alone is something bad. We should not be alone. We are social animals and are made to be with other people. People feel sad for you when you are alone, or feel guilty when they leave you alone. There is this whole negative aura around it and is often confused with being lonely, which is a totally different thing.

Being alone once in a while is good. Exhilarating, inspring, nourishing… We all need it. I need it!

We need to go on a date with ourselves once in a while. Put it in our weekly to do agenda. An hour, half a day, or even a couple of days ; whatever suits you and is doable. Say ‘no’ to everyone and everything and ‘yes’ to yourself. Take a notebook and go to a coffeeshop, go and sit in the park with a book, take yourself on a picnic, go to a restaurant alone, a walk on the beach,… But the idea is to get away from work and home. No chores or family members to distract you from your cause. (And it comes as no surprise : turn off your phone!)

A date with ourselves is the exact same as dating someone else. You give them flowers, you try out new things, you compliment each other, you get to know them. Only now you are spending time with yourself, getting to know yourself, you are nurturing yourself. You find out what you really like, what you want, what makes you happy.

Getting to know yourself is an important step towards self love : you can not love anybody else if you don’t love yourself. Time alone is a time to do a reset from work, from all types of duties you might have. Not having to think about anybody else for some time is not selfish, it is refreshing, it’s calming, and makes it all the easier and exciting to be with others later on. It is not a selfish act, when you get back from your regular date-with-yourself you feel better, energised, creative, and ready to serve others with more enthusiasm.

Try it!

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Photo by mari lezhava on Unsplash

2 responses to “The importance of being alone”

  1. I also have a habit of going yo my fav cafe at least once a week when I’m stressed since I was a college student It’s a good way to calm down, I admit.
    At first, I did it because I don’t have any friends who I believe in and confide in. Then I gradually realize that myself is the best listener and know-it-all person.
    I even buy a fountain pen for these date 😁

    • Thanks for your comment! Glad to hear that it works out for you too! Usually I also take a journal and fountain pen! Let’s keep doing it and spread the news!

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